The Big Sri
Hey kids, take a few minuites to find out if you really
are Sri Lankan. Simply answer Yes or No to the following questions...
- You unwrap Christmas gifts very carefully, so you can save
and reuse the wrapping (and especially those bows) next year.
- You have a vinyl table cloth (with flower or animal patters)
on your kitchen table.
- Your stove is covered with aluminium foil.
- Your kitchen has a sticky film of grease over it.
- You use the dishwasher as a dish rack.
- You have never used your dishwasher.
- You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers.
- You use grocery bags to hold garbage (and newspapers to
soak your Badapu Kama --fried stuff).
- You always leave your shoes at the door.
- You hate to waste food (so you feed your pets all the Mallu
and Mas Kattu --fish and beef bones).
- Even if you're totally full, if someone says they're going
to throw away the leftovers on the table, you'll finish them.
- You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice
or one leftover chicken wing.
- You don't own any real Tupperware: Only a cupboard full of
used, but carefully rinsed, margarine tubs, takeout containers,
and jam jars.
- You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you
take every time you stay in a hotel.
- You never order room service.
- You carry a stash of your own food (such as bread and Katta
Sambol) whenever you travel.
- You wash your rice at least 2-3 times before cooking it.
- You fight over who pays the dinner bill (but really wants
the other guy to pay it).
- You majored in engineering, medicine, accountancy or law
(and your parents want you to get married to a person engaged
in a similar profession because they think that such people are
the only ones who make a decent living with prestige)
- When you go to a dance party, there is a wall of guys surrounding
the dance floor trying to look cool.
- You live with your parents and you are 30 years old (And
they prefer it that way). (This is because you can't find some
one with a matching horoscope to get married to).
- You feel like you've gotten a good deal if you didn't pay
- You reuse teabags.
- You have a drawer full of old pens, most of which don't write
- You always look phone numbers up in the phonebook, since
calling Information costs 50 cents.
- You only make long distance calls after 11 p.m.
- If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask
if you've eaten, even if it's midnight.
- Your parents send money to their relatives in foreign countries.
- Your parents use a clothesline.
- Your parents are never happy with your grades because your
mother's best friend's or arch enemy's child did better than
- You save your old coke bottle glasses even though you're
never going to use them again.
- You keep used batteries.
- You keep most of your money in a savings account (because
you think the stock-market is volatile).
- You call an older person you never met before "uncle/aunty."
(If you meet an Aunty or Uncle in the States, they become closer
to you than your own parents).
- The first thing (aunty/)uncle asks you is "where are
your parents from (or what's your last name and vasagama)?"
- When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes,
you discover you're talking to a distant cousin (Appe Nuwara
Mamage Puthane Mae!!!)
- You avoid motels, especially if there is an acquaintance
within a 250-mile radius of your destination. (You would
rather sleep on their floor and avoid spending that money).
- When making international phone calls, your parents always
ask what time it is at the other end.
- Your parents don't realize phone connections to foreign countries
have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the
top of their lungs.
- When our fathers get together, no matter what the topic is,
each man is an expert (especially when it comes to local politics
of the blues and the greens).
- You have a box of tissue or a towel (and a colorful umbrella)
in your car.
- You can't park your car in the garage, because you never
throw anything away and keep it there (just in case you need
- You have bed sheets on your sofas (and you prefer to sit
on the cane chair rather than on the sofa).
- When dining out, your parents think $1 is enough of a tip.
- You recycle Christmas/Birthday gifts.
- You head to the clearance rack as soon as you walk into a
- You buy clothes from K-mart and put it in a recycled gift
box from Macy's (Nieman-Marcus, Dillards, Famous-Barr, Lord &
Taylor, etc.) before giving it.
- You frequently get honked at by those stupid foreign drivers
who think they know how to drive.
- You regularly J-walk.
- It's embarrassing if your wedding has less than 600 people
(and if you don't provide Jhoney's Black Lable whisky).
- You think an Indian (Pakistani or Sri Lankan) businessman
will give you a better deal because he's Indian (Pakistani or
- You spew forth the virtues of Sri-Lanka, but don't want to
(You also solve all of SL's ills but you don't even visit SL
on a regular basis)
- You use Vicks Vaporub/Sidhalepaya --Or Tiger Balm-- (no matter
what your illness is).
- You've been in a bus where half the people riding are outside
the bus (even when half the seats are vacant).
- All your Tupperware is stained with food colour.
- You call reading the Daily News "Brides and Grooms"
section, the personals!
- If you're looking to get hitched to another Sri Lankan,
you talk about your mother's and father's qualifications and
status, instead of yours.
- You think that Sri Lanka is peaceful and had a "booming"
- By reading the Daily News (daily noice), you think that you're
very well informed of what's truely happening in Sri Lanka.
- You think that the "Daily News" is a news paper.
- If you answered "yes" to most of
these statements, we're sorry, but you're Sri Lankan
- If you answered "yes" to some of
these statements, you're probably a second generation Sri Lankan
in a western society.
- If you answered "yes" to a few
of these statements, you're probably not Sri Lankan.