Lookin' Through my Earphones/ BluVersace

I wuz drivin my brand new midnight blu Versace with chrome studs, inflatable pockets & turbo boost zip, groovin to the sounds on my shock proof, shatter proof, UV resistant Vuarnet glasses, when out of the corner of my Digital Mega Bass, Sony Discman I see this dude leap across my brand new midnight blu Versace with chrome studs inflatable pockets and turbo boost zip going thadim bidim dom, his eyes glazed smelling of cheap Paco Rabanne, T.V. drippin out of his mouth, sayin "Hey man how about givin your brother 50 bucks for a quick fix of MTV? Listen man, I've got a wife, five kids one TV & no idea where my next programme is comin from! So help bring some cable TV into their lives, the glow of ultra-violet rays on their face, it's not askin for too much man, you in these cool Italian wheels. Hey man is that the latest CD from Ferrari you groovin to? Man I just love !that cool jazz funk line of theirs! Now how about that 50 bucks to buy my starving children a treat of Home Box Office, ESPN, CNBC & some Sky TV may be?" I quickly checked to see if the paint on my brand new midnight blu Versace with chrome studs, inflatable pockets and turbo boost zip had been scratched, then fished into my pocket threw him some change & told him to also buy himself a new L D. player, he looked like shit! Then with a flick of my shoe laces, I cleaned him off my windshield, put my brand new mid-night blu Versace with chrome studs inflatable pockets & turbo boost zip into gear & took off in a cloud of blue smoke leaving burnt shoe sole in my wake. My stomach was rumblin, it wuz time to visit my favourite vid-game parlour, my usual order of War Gods followed by Spice World for dessert. I turned up the volume on my shockproof, shatterproof Vuarnet glasses, lit myself a Miles Davis put my brand new midnight blu Versace with chrome studs inflatable pockets & turbo-boost zip into over-drive & thought t!o myself 'the night can't get any worse' but boy wuz I wrong!

II

I wuz drivin my brand new midnight blu Versace with chrome studs inflatable pockets and turbo boost zip past big billboards advertising the latest cure for civil war, government, global recession & currency meltdown past drive-ins offering fastfood faith healings delivered in 30 seconds flat or money back. Junk food! I sped past ignoring the hookers in their close-circuit T.V's & their neon micro-waves & watched the expectations on their wide screens turn to disdain as they cocked their collective digital antennas & flashed their memory - enhanced boobs at me. I took a left past the Museum of Corporate Civilisations where long queues of Management Mercenaries were waiting to enter an exhibition on the Microsoft Wars, past the Travelling Consultants Circus & stopped for the red light opposite the H.R. Super offering fresh Peradeniya Graduates at 50% discount. Just then a Style Police riding a Bugatti, drew alongside static coming from his Baume & Mercier watch,! the light from his hand-made Italian tie blinding me. I quickly butted out the Miles Davis. I knew the game was up-someone must have tipped him that I was driving an imitationVersace with false designer tag! He signalled me to the curb where he gave me a breathalyzer "to see if you're within the legal perfume limits" he said, through teeth badly stained by smoking cheap Madonnas. He was obviously disappointed with the results, but that didn't stop him from stepping menacingly closer removing his battered old Walkman to reveal eyes that had seen too much Billy Joel and too little sleep & telling me in the softest whisper "Young man, I know your kind, you'd put a Spike Lee between my eyes, to raise a smile between your thighs, you think a Face is something to leaf through & a Playstation can settle any Scorsese. You make Savage Garden in the hall & leave 9" nails in the wall, you keep Dead Kennedy's in you!r bed & have Massive attack in your head. You listen too close to the Edge, you live too close to the ledge, you bring stock market crashes & shame, you're the Artist formerly known as Pain." Suddenly his Baume & Mercier crackled to life alerting him of a Private Placement across the other side of town, suspect driving a falsetto coloured Issey Miyake with automatic Replay fast forward to GAP radials. Just then a Miyake answering to this description screamed past, Toyota pounding out of its speakers sending him scrambling back to his Bugatti but not before confiscating the last of my Miles Davis and telling me he'd run me out of town if he ever caught me again in my brand new, midnight blu Versace with chrome studs, inflatable pockets and turbo boost zip.

III

I pointed my brand new, midnight blu Versace with chrome studs, inflatable pockets & turbo boost zip towards home, the TV on my dashboard reading half past the Morning Show, with just an hour to go for Prime Time. Already a few early morning commercials were out sporting fresh-faced kids with attitudes & milk mustaches, forcing me to channel-hop blearily.I managed to make my brand new, midnight blu Versace with chrome studs, inflatable pockets & turbo boost zip inconspicuous between a cK Cabriolet & a Prada stretch limo, then let myself quietly into my pad, without waking my inquisitive landlady or her talkin toaster. I headed straight to the bar and fixed myself a Paul Mitchell Super Charge Conditioner & sat down wearily in front of my flat screen G. Force Casio with
surround picture. I had made it yet again survived life in the fast lane, never once been caught unawares in this game of Truth or Dare, even when the chips were down got a free ride on the merry-go-round, played my cards close to my chest managed to play out all the rest, pretended to play the Game always going against the grain. Braun, my pet hairdryer curled up expectantly besides me as I picked a prime cut of the morning news. The main stories were the LBO of the EEC, the Vatican IPO & the man-hunt for a terrorist with weapons of mass seduction, along with a picture of me in a lewd pose, though with a different nose. My heart gave a leap, Braun collapsed in a heap. I needed a bath, so I set the whirlpool for a tumble wash, undressed and checked my weight on the All Share Index. More bad news. Quarterly earnings were down, the bottom had fallen out of my market. It was time to strip the assets, downsize, retrench, layoff. It was time to sell out & move on. In !my brand new, midnight blu Versace with chrome studs, inflatable pockets & turbo boost zip.

Dedicated and inspired by Errol Knower

Lookin' Through my Earphones by Masii I wuz drivin my brand new midnight blu Versace with chrome studs, inflatable pockets & turbo boost zip, groovin to the sounds on my shock proof, shatter proof, UV resistant Vuarnet glasses, when out of the corner of my Digital Mega Bass, Sony Discman I see this dude leap across my brand new midnight blu Versace with chrome studs inflatable pockets and turbo boost zip going thadim bidim dom, his eyes glazed smelling of cheap Paco Rabanne, T.V. drippin out of his mouth, sayin "Hey man how about givin your brother 50 bucks for a quick fix of MTV? Listen man, I've got a wife, five kids one TV & no idea where my next programme is comin from! So help bring some cable TV into their lives, the glow of ultra-violet rays on their face, it's not askin for too much man, you in these cool Italian wheels. Hey man is that the latest CD from Ferrari you groovin to? Man I just love !that cool jazz funk line of theirs! Now how about that 50 bucks to buy my starving children a treat of Home Box Office, ESPN, CNBC & some Sky TV may be?" I quickly checked to see if the paint on my brand new midnight blu Versace with chrome studs, inflatable pockets and turbo boost zip had been scratched, then fished into my pocket threw him some change & told him to also buy himself a new L D. player, he looked like shit! Then with a flick of my shoe laces, I cleaned him off my windshield, put my brand new mid-night blu Versace with chrome studs inflatable pockets & turbo boost zip into gear & took off in a cloud of blue smoke leaving burnt shoe sole in my wake. My stomach was rumblin, it wuz time to visit my favourite vid-game parlour, my usual order of War Gods followed by Spice World for dessert. I turned up the volume on my shockproof, shatterproof Vuarnet glasses, lit myself a Miles Davis put my brand new midnight blu Versace with chrome studs inflatable pockets & turbo-boost zip into over-drive & thought t!o myself 'the night can't get any worse' but boy wuz I wrong! II I wuz drivin my brand new midnight blu Versace with chrome studs inflatable pockets and turbo boost zip past big billboards advertising the latest cure for civil war, government, global recession & currency meltdown past drive-ins offering fastfood faith healings delivered in 30 seconds flat or money back. Junk food! I sped past ignoring the hookers in their close-circuit T.V's & their neon micro-waves & watched the expectations on their wide screens turn to disdain as they cocked their collective digital antennas & flashed their memory - enhanced boobs at me. I took a left past the Museum of Corporate Civilisations where long queues of Management Mercenaries were waiting to enter an exhibition on the Microsoft Wars, past the Travelling Consultants Circus & stopped for the red light opposite the H.R. Super offering fresh Peradeniya Graduates at 50% discount. Just then a Style Police riding a Bugatti, drew alongside static coming from his Baume & Mercier watch,! the light from his hand-made Italian tie blinding me. I quickly butted out the Miles Davis. I knew the game was up-someone must have tipped him that I was driving an imitationVersace with false designer tag! He signalled me to the curb where he gave me a breathalyzer "to see if you're within the legal perfume limits" he said, through teeth badly stained by smoking cheap Madonnas. He was obviously disappointed with the results, but that didn't stop him from stepping menacingly closer removing his battered old Walkman to reveal eyes that had seen too much Billy Joel and too little sleep & telling me in the softest whisper "Young man, I know your kind, you'd put a Spike Lee between my eyes, to raise a smile between your thighs, you think a Face is something to leaf through & a Playstation can settle any Scorsese. You make Savage Garden in the hall & leave 9" nails in the wall, you keep Dead Kennedy's in you!r bed & have Massive attack in your head. You listen too close to the Edge, you live too close to the ledge, you bring stock market crashes & shame, you're the Artist formerly known as Pain." Suddenly his Baume & Mercier crackled to life alerting him of a Private Placement across the other side of town, suspect driving a falsetto coloured Issey Miyake with automatic Replay fast forward to GAP radials. Just then a Miyake answering to this description screamed past, Toyota pounding out of its speakers sending him scrambling back to his Bugatti but not before confiscating the last of my Miles Davis and telling me he'd run me out of town if he ever caught me again in my brand new, midnight blu Versace with chrome studs, inflatable pockets and turbo boost zip. III I pointed my brand new, midnight blu Versace with chrome studs, inflatable pockets & turbo boost zip towards home, the TV on my dashboard reading half past the Morning Show, with just an hour to go for Prime Time. Already a few early morning commercials were out sporting fresh-faced kids with attitudes & milk mustaches, forcing me to channel-hop blearily.I managed to make my brand new, midnight blu Versace with chrome studs, inflatable pockets & turbo boost zip inconspicuous between a cK Cabriolet & a Prada stretch limo, then let myself quietly into my pad, without waking my inquisitive landlady or her talkin toaster. I headed straight to the bar and fixed myself a Paul Mitchell Super Charge Conditioner & sat down wearily in front of my flat screen G. Force Casio with surround picture. I had made it yet again survived life in the fast lane, never once been caught unawares in this game of Truth or Dare, even when the chips were down got a free ride on the merry-go-round, played my cards close to my chest managed to play out all the rest, pretended to play the Game always going against the grain. Braun, my pet hairdryer curled up expectantly besides me as I picked a prime cut of the morning news. The main stories were the LBO of the EEC, the Vatican IPO & the man-hunt for a terrorist with weapons of mass seduction, along with a picture of me in a lewd pose, though with a different nose. My heart gave a leap, Braun collapsed in a heap. I needed a bath, so I set the whirlpool for a tumble wash, undressed and checked my weight on the All Share Index. More bad news. Quarterly earnings were down, the bottom had fallen out of my market. It was time to strip the assets, downsize, retrench, layoff. It was time to sell out & move on. In !my brand new, midnight blu Versace with chrome studs, inflatable pockets & turbo boost zip. Dedicated and inspired by Errol Knower